The (scary) ABCs of Harry's Wonderful World
by Fintastica
Summary: When Harry and his friends get bored, writing a book was probably not Hermione's greatest idea ever...


**Disclaimer: I don't own the original stories and characters**

**Also, did anyone notice how many "sacred 28" families/highly respected families are in Harry's year? Yeah, that's...well, frankly, I find it highly intriguing...**

**I also saw a PJO fanfic that did something similar somewhere else but...y'know what, it's fine, this is , and I'm not doing PJO, this is HP.**

It was the summer before Hermione's 8th year and Harry and Ron's training as Aurors. Or rather, exam-taking. There wasn't too much to learn when you'd just spent a year chasing down Voldemort's old relics of soul-holding items.

Luna and Neville had come to visit at the Burrow, and now they, along with Ginny, Hermione, Harry, and Ron were in the yard trying to think up something to do.

Then Hermione had her brilliant idea. "We should write a book!"

"No!" All but Luna protested, but Hermione (with some help from Luna) (and reluctantly Ron) won the others over.

After some arguing, they settled on an alphabet book. Because that was easy enough. Right?

Wrong. When Mrs. Weasley saw the manuscript, she all but had a heart attack. George had a laugh, as did Charlie and BIll, Percy was horrified, and George's girlfriend, Angelina Johnson, and Fleur ended up brewing everyone large jugs of butterbeer and firewhisky to calm everyone down.

**The Wizarding World Alphabet (according to the Golden Trio and friends)**

(Ron) "A" is for Acromatula, a giant spider that likes eating people. Spiders are scary. Really scary. And bloody terrifying too.

((Hermione) "B" is for Basilisk. Don't look into its eyes.

(Ginny) "C" is for the Chudley Cannons, a really lousy team that Ron and Harry like. (Hey! ~Ron, Harry)

(Neville) "D" is for Dementor. Bring some chocolate if you meet one.

(Luna) "E" is for eggplant.

_(Wait, what? ~Ron_

_They're good for keeping the head clear. ~Luna)_

(Harry) "F" is for Firebolt. I had one once. it's quite nice and fast. Might buy another...

(Ginny) "G" is for Ginny. Girlfriend of Harry Potter.

(_Oh c'mon, Gin... ~Ron_

_Not the point, Ronald. ~Ginny)_

(Neville) "H" is for Herbology. A cool subject. I'm going to teach it one day. I hope, anyways.

(Hermione) "I" is for the Inner Eye, which Professor Trelawney always talks about.

(Ron) "J" is for Jokes, which George will tell nonstop.

(Luna) "K" is for Krum, who has Nargles in his head.

(_He does not! ~Hermione_

_I'm going to punch him if he looks at you like that again. ~Ron)_

(Harry) "L" is for Loud, the general definition of the Gryffindor common room after we win a match. Or it's someone's birthday.

(Ron) "M' is for magic.

(Can you get another braincell or revive the one you have? Please? ~Hermione)

(Neville) "N" is for nonexistent, which is what a stair at Hogwarts sometimes becomes.

(Ginny) "O" is for obnoxious, a perfect description of Ron.

_(Hey! ~Ron)_

(Hermione) "P" is for pink, a color we all hate.

(Because of Umbridge...who is thankfully in Azkaban. ~Neville)

(Harry) "Q" is for Quirrell. Poor guy...

(He had You-KNow-Who in his head and Fred and George snowballed him! ~Ron)

(Ron) "R" is for Run, which we did way too much of.

_(Hopefully we're the only ones... ~Harry)_

(Hermione) "S" is for Snape. A really...interesting man, shall we say.

_(Why don't we have Dumbledore in here? ~Harry_

_We can name our kids after him if you want, how about that? ~Ginny_

_Alright, that works ~Harry_

_Eww, gross guys... ~Ron)_

(Luna) "T" is for tea. You drink a lot of it in Divination.

(Hermione) "U" is for Umbrella, which Hagrid keeps with him at al times.

(harry) "V" is for Voldemort.

_(Harry... ~Neville_

_Kids are gonna read this! ~Hermione_

_I think a Nargle is in your head, Harry. ~Luna)_

(Ginny) "W" is for worry, something Mum does a lot of.

(Hermione) "X" is for Xenophilius Lovegood, the only thing we can think of with "X" that's part of the Wizarding World. Editor of the Quibbler.

(Neville) "Y" is for yeti. A very real, very wild creature in the Himalayas.

(Harry) "Z" is for Zonko's, which is almost as good as Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes.

**End of the book**

When Professor McGonagall read it over, she started wondering why the 6 hadn't used Quidditch for "Q", Dumbledore for "D", and many more besides. But she decided not to question it and kept a copy of the "book" in her desk drawer, as a souvenir.'preme.


End file.
